#Comtpary comedic monologues for women professional

If I am going play a matron- (Literally swallows her pride.) again-I am going to play the mother of all mothers: вЂњHere she is world! Here she is, Gruella! HereвЂ™s Rosie!вЂќ (Strikes an Evita diva pose and serves a royal wave) My turn will come for such is the magic of theatre that ingГ©nues age into the chorus, while character actors grace into the leads. Who forgets the lyrics to вЂњMemory?вЂќ (sings) All Alone In TheвЂќ (pause) -Next day, I brave the hallway of shame, passed the faux hugВging and chutzpah to catch the cast list just as it was posted вЂ¦ вЂњRosie: Mother #12, and вЂ¦ The MayorвЂ™s Wife.вЂќ? Since when did Anatevka elect a mayor? I wanted to drop out then and there, rip that piece of paper off GruellaвЂ™s door, tear it to shreds like Patti Lupone does her reviews, and sing вЂњThereвЂ™s Gotta Be SomeВthing Better Than This !вЂќ (Pause.) But a better вЂњAngel of MusicвЂќ prevailed. By this point in the audition I am shvitzing like Old DeuВteronomy and forget the words to my song. Then think while sweating I was multitasking: What if I donвЂ™t get cast because I fail at being myself? Who am I anyway, am I my rГ©sumГ©? Hello! IвЂ™m a teenager youвЂ™re lucky I know who the Vice President is. вЂњIn other words, you would throw crap up in the air and catch it?вЂќ

#Comtpary comedic monologues for women professional

вЂњIвЂ™d be in a professional musical.вЂќ Is what I should have said, but all I could think of was: вЂњThereвЂ™s always Color Guard?вЂќ вЂњWhat would you do if you could no longer be in the high-school musical?вЂќ It seems Gruella caught a local production of A Chorus Line and is now stuck in the 70s. (Chants ala вЂњ Circle of LifeвЂќ) вЂњNants ingonyama bagithi Baba!вЂќ My name is called and I take to the stage as to the manner born! Breathing in that thespian aroma of a freshly shelВlacked stage, perfumed with the enduring mist of gray in a can. But this year? This year? There wonвЂ™t be stages big enough! There wonвЂ™t be lights bright enough! This year, the drama club is staging Fiddler, and IвЂ™m going to land the role of The Girl who gets The Boy! ItвЂ™s the day of the big tryouts the auditorium is packed with the usual sycophants circling Gruella like heвЂ™s the frigginвЂ™ Lion King. my drama camp doubles the role вЂ¦with twins in padding! I was the prison matron. Instead of casting one curvy teenager as Tracy. Gruella cast me as? вЂњTownsperson Number 13.вЂќ Double digits people! And donвЂ™t get me started on the summer reduction of Hairspray. Or a town! Then last year the drama club stages The MuВsic Man-where the MayorвЂ™s Wife is a leading role-and what does our older-than-the-bard director, slash, driverвЂ™s-ed teacher, Mr. ROSIE: Will someone please show me where is it written that if youвЂ™re not the typical вЂњingГ©nue,вЂќ then youвЂ™re autoВmatically cast as the MayorвЂ™s Wife? Hmm? IвЂ™ve been cast as the MayorвЂ™s Wife in musicals that donвЂ™t even have a mayor.